Cognitive Dissonance, Trauma, and the Brave Work of Change

Read Time: 8 minutes

Let’s be honest: healing from trauma is not a straight line. It’s not even a squiggly line. It’s more like a weird, looping roller coaster with surprise drops and an occasional broken speaker yelling, “You’re doing great!” while you’re upside down, wondering if your seatbelt is on correctly.

If you’ve ever thought, “I know what’s happening with me,  so why am I still stuck in the same pattern?” you’re not alone. And no, that doesn’t mean therapy isn’t working. It actually means something is working, even if it doesn’t feel that way yet.

That mental discomfort of holding two seemingly conflicting truths is called cognitive dissonance. It looks like this: 

• Truth One: I understand why I react this way.

• Truth Two: I still react this way anyway.

Frustrating? Absolutely. But it’s also a sign that your awareness is catching up to your body’s old survival wiring. And that, believe it or not, is progress.

The Role of Cognitive Dissonance in Healing

There’s a common misconception that once you become self-aware, you’ll magically make better choices. Unfortunately, trauma, and healing from it, doesn’t really work like that.

For example, you can know, logically, that your current partner is safe, but your body may still send you into panic mode when you try to be vulnerable. You might think, “But I know this anxiety comes from my past. Why isn’t that knowledge helping?”

When you’re working through trauma, you often hold two truths at once. As in:

• Your brain knows someone is safe.

• Your body still reacts like they’re not.

That mismatch is cognitive dissonance. And it feels awful. But here’s the reframe: cognitive dissonance is not failure, it’s awareness in action.

It means you’ve already done the hard work of understanding how your trauma has shaped your responses. You can name what’s happening. You can predict when old survival instincts might show up. And even if you can’t stop the reaction yet, you’re starting to notice it, and noticing is the start of change.

Think of it this way: trauma recovery isn’t just about “fixing” reactions. It’s about preparing to be brave. It’s learning to trust the knowledge you already have, the part that knows you’re safe, even when your anxiety screams otherwise.

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Psst...by the way…

FEEL LIKE COGNITIVE DISSONANCE IS
GETTING THE BEST OF YOU?

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Preparing to Be Brave: Trusting Yourself

Here’s a subtle but powerful shift: instead of asking, “Why can’t I change this reaction?” try asking, “How do I prepare to be brave while this reaction is happening?”

Being brave doesn’t mean you’re no longer anxious. It means you acknowledge the anxiety, understand where it’s coming from, and choose vulnerability anyway.

For example:

• Old trauma: You were closeted in a hostile environment, so vulnerability felt dangerous.

• Today’s challenge: Opening up emotionally to a supportive partner still makes your chest tighten.

Awareness alone won’t erase that fear. But you can remind yourself: “This fear makes sense because of what I went through. And, this person has shown me care and safety. I’ve been brave before with safe people. I can try again now.”

Why This Progress Matters (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It)

It’s easy to dismiss awareness that doesn’t yet lead to immediate change. I often hear young people say, “I know what’s happening, but it doesn’t help.”

Here’s what I tell them: it does help. It’s just not the part that feels satisfying yet.

Awareness is progress. It’s the part of you that’s awake to what’s going on, even if your body hasn’t caught up. It’s the piece of knowledge that wants to be trusted. And over time, as you practice preparing to be brave (not waiting to feel zero fear, but learning to act with gentle courage anyway), that trust builds.

You don’t have to erase fear to heal. You just have to acknowledge it and learn to say, “I see you, fear, and I’m still going to try.”

That’s change happening. It just doesn’t always look dramatic or linear. It often looks like quiet moments of courage;  a conversation you didn’t think you could have, a boundary you didn’t think you could set, a hand you didn’t think you could reach for.

Trauma Therapy for Teens & Young Adults in Denver, CO

If you’re wondering whether therapy is helping, take a moment. Are you more aware of what’s happening in you? Are you able to name what you’re feeling, even if it hasn’t changed yet?

That’s not failure. That’s movement. That’s the foundation you’ll use to rewrite old patterns.

Healing is rarely about one giant leap. It’s about dozens of small, brave steps, many of them taken while your heart is pounding and your brain is second-guessing. And if you’re taking those steps, even shakily, you’re already doing the hard, incredible work of becoming who you want to be, not just who trauma taught you to be.

If this resonates with you as you think about therapy, if you’re in the midst of your therapy journey, or if you tried therapy but think you’d like to start again, please reach out. As someone who specializes in helping teens and young adults in Colorado navigate their lives with confidence and authenticity, I’d love to help you take those brave steps forward. 

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About Our Author | Rani Ellison, MA, LPCC.0023492

Rani Ellison is a Teen and Young Adult Therapist here at Interfaith Bridge Counseling, where they continue their work as a Licensed Professional Counselor Candidate after completing our intern program. They hold a Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Adams State University.

Rani's commitment lies in supporting teens and young adults as they discover who they are and learn to freely express their authentic selves. Guided by a person-centered, liberation-based approach, Rani works with the psychological, ancestral, and political parts of each young person in a way that embraces full self-acceptance, self-advocacy, and self-expression. Their experience within AAPI/NH and immigrant communities, as well as disability, chronic illness, LGBTQIA+, and Muslim identities allows them to meet young people with a deep understanding of the complexity of lived experience.