What to Do When You’ve Lost Trust in Your Community (and How to Get It Back)

Read Time: 12 minutes

Let’s be real for a second. The world is a little wild right now. Sometimes (ok, maybe a lot of the time) it’s hard to put trust in those who are supposed to be our leaders. Heck, it might be hard to even put our trust in those who are close to us, like our parents, teachers, or community leaders. So what happens when we lose faith in those around us? Those who are supposed to uplift us, protect us, or otherwise help us forward? Why does it matter? And if it does, how do we rebuild that trust?

There’s a lot to unpack when it comes to understanding how trust in one another shapes our communities, so let’s start with the basics.

First:

What is trust?

If you think about it in the simplest terms, trust is like your favorite blanket. It keeps you warm, makes you feel safe, and you don’t even think about it. That is, until you lose it. When it’s gone, you might feel confused, insecure, and maybe even angry. 

Think of trust as reliability. It’s knowing that when someone says, “I’ve got you,” they actually do. It’s believing that people around you, friends, teachers, teammates, neighbors, will act in a way that’s consistent, fair, and honest. 

Psychologists and community leaders agree: trust is that special magic that keeps groups functioning and healthier. As the American Psychological Association puts it, it’s the “glue that keeps relationships, communities, and societies together.” Without trust, things start feeling “off” fast. When we start to distrust our community, we start to question our relationships, our environment starts to feel (and may even be) hostile, and our quality of life suffers.

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What does trust look like in a community?

When a community has trust, it’s like a well-run group project—everyone knows their role, leaders are approachable, and the general “vibe” is good.

A trusting community has:

• Success that’s shared: Wins aren’t just for the “in crowd.” Opportunities, resources, and support flow to everyone, not just the loudest voices.

• Strong leaders: And not just politicians or religious leaders. Leaders can be your volleyball captain, your team lead, your art club president, or your neighbor who organizes the monthly block get-together. They earn respect because they listen, follow through, and care.

• Healthy connections: People show up for each other. Whether it’s lending jumper cables, showing up at the local school play, or helping raise money for someone’s medical bills.

Trust in each community may look a little different. It can mean everything from dependable neighbors who help shovel out your car after a snowstorm or a teacher who takes the extra time and effort to mentor you.

How does a loss of community trust come about?

Here’s the thing. Trust doesn’t usually vanish overnight. It erodes.

Yes, big changes can cause fractures. Things like political shifts, economic downturns, and social upheavals. Diversity and multiculturalism can be hurdles if communities aren’t ready to have real conversations about differences (but they can also be huge strengths when handled with respect and curiosity–more on that later.) 

Most of the time, though, distrust starts small. For example, say two people in a friend group argue over something insignificant. That beef turns into something bigger, making groups choose sides. Eventually, families or organizations get caught up, and what started as a tiny disagreement becomes a community-wide issue.

These small cracks in trust can happen from misinformation in the media, inconsistent messages from leaders, poor communication, bad relationships, and the inability to be open to (and follow through with) feedback.

When community leaders, formal or informal, can’t rebuild trust, the gap just grows. Mistrust can quickly turn into isolation, less collaboration, and a loss of hope.

How do you repair broken trust in your community?

Perhaps the most important thing to know is that trust is reciprocal. Trust simply doesn’t “work” unless all parties are willing to, well, trust.

Rebuilding trust takes:

• Vulnerability: Being willing to say, “I messed up,” or “I don’t know,” or “That hurt me.” Leaders acknowledging where things went wrong is vital to them regaining your trust.

• Curiosity: Being open means actually trying to understand the other person’s perspective instead of jumping to conclusions about their story or opinions. This is also where real connection across differences—culture, race, religion, abilities, and more—starts to happen. When we approach each other with curiosity and respect, we get to move past surface-level small talk and into genuine relationships.

• Patience: Trust takes time to grow back. We need to give ourselves the grace to heal after feeling betrayed by our leaders. Leaders need to understand that trust is something that must be earned back.

Let’s think of this from a community leadership perspective. This is what you should expect a leader in your community to do (and what you can apply, even if you’re just the leader of your friend group):

1. Listen. Not fake-listen, actually listen. Communities thrive when people feel heard, especially across differences.

2. Follow up. Listening is great, but nothing changes without action. If someone says they’ll check in a week, they should do it.

3. Appreciate your people. Gratitude isn’t just for Thanksgiving. People should be thanked for showing up, for speaking up, and for being part of the solution.

4. Be consistent. Leaders should show up when they say they will AKA be the ones we can depend on. 

Once again, it’s important to remember that trust takes time. If your community had a major falling-out, things unfortunately won’t be magically fixed with one meeting. But leaders can make progress one small win at a time.

Why is trust in our communities important?

Trust isn’t just a feel-good concept; it has real, measurable benefits.

• Trust creates bonds. And those bonds create richer support systems, more opportunities, and stronger resources. Imagine knowing that if you need a ride, help studying, or someone to watch your dog, you can call three people who’ll say yes without hesitation.

• Trust builds safer communities. Research shows that people living in more trusting communities have lower crime rates and higher overall well-being. When you trust your neighbors, you’re more likely to watch out for each other.

• Trust boosts mental health. Feeling part of a dependable network can lower stress and anxiety, something teens and young adults need more than ever.

• Trust strengthens teamwork. Whether it’s a sports team, school club, work, or volunteer group, trust makes collaboration smoother and more creative.

In teens and young adults, this might mean:

• Friends backing you up with notes when you miss class, without making it a big deal.

• Roommates splitting chores fairly and actually following through (wild, I know)

• A group project where everyone pulls their weight instead of leaving one person stranded.

• A friend group that keeps plans and shows up when they say they will.

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Losing trust in your community can feel isolating. And it can be hard to rebuild that trust when that loss is so painful. But know that finding your place in your community and building trust again is possible. 

As leaders in our own small community, we need to know rebuilding that trust starts with owning our role in that loss, opening up, listening well, and following through. It takes patience, consistency, and a willingness to keep trying even when things may feel awkward.

Because here’s the secret: when you invest in trust, you’re not just making your community stronger, you’re making yourself stronger, too. You become someone who can weather disagreements, navigate differences, and show up for others. And that’s the kind of leader, whether official or unofficial, every community needs.

If you’re struggling with finding trust in your community again or are seeking your place in the world around you, please reach out. As a teen or young adult in Colorado, you and your place in your community matter. 

Until next time,

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About Our Author | Lena McCain MA, LPC. 0017723

Lena McCain is our Founder here at Interfaith Bridge Counseling, where she continues her support as our Clinical Director. She also holds a Master of Arts degree in Clinical Mental Health: Mindfulness-Based Transpersonal Counseling Psychology from Naropa University.

Lena’s drive and passions lie in the realm of community building and youth collaboration, which she has spent the last 12 years studying with an emphasis on one’s exploration of personal growth, community healing, and multicultural values. Lena’s expertise in these areas and the therapeutic field acts as a reminder to our community, teens, and young adults that they are not alone in their experience of life.